i'm fine now. i was just venting my anger on the previous post. =) cya all. happy new year soon!

3:07 PM

what's happening? everything seems wrong. it's just so wrong. nothing seems correct. i'm scared. scared something bad will happen. i dont know why the sudden feeling. i hate this feeling. everything just feels weird.

i'm depressed. i'm scared. i'm screwed

scared i did something wrong. or maybe i did something not up to expectation. maybe i did something many wouldnt like.

between us? i trusted. and told you. but then again. maybe you dont understand what it really means.

all the time i've been acting like i'm really happy. am i really happy? maybe i'm just pretending i am for some things. but i know. i am really happy for that one particular thing. only that.

where are my friends when i need them? have they all gotten new friends and forgotten all about me? okay maybe not forgot all about me.

forget it. forget everything. i'll just be really quiet. like that i wont offend anybody. or do things people dont like.

whatever.

everything's so screwed.

1:43 PM

today is not a good day to shop for me. STUPID. lol. i'm cool now. was a little irritated just now. haha. was complaining to ben tan. lol. sorry! okayys. tomorrow going for countdown with susanna and gang. wahahaha. hopefully i'll get really HIGH. cya soon!

MERRY CHRISTMAS &
HAPPY EARLY NEW YEAR!


i simply do NOT like being sick.
cough mixtures. flu tablets. and everything else. SIGH.
but i really must say. i have a really caring brother. lol. thanks!
and not forgetting someone else. ilovehim. =) he cares too. as much as everyone else.

11:53 PM

christmas! simply beautiful! dressed up for midnight mass. make up and everything else. reached church before mass started. during the pagent. haha. then mass was kinda long. then was dinner and dance. lol. not really that well organised. but not that bad too. loved the dancing part. lol. super nice. the fast songs ones were not too bad. kinda HIGH! lol. then it was the slow songs part. it was OKAY la. but i danced with (you knw who). really happy. :)) haha. then danced all the way till 4-5 plus. haha. or izzit 6? lol then help to clear the place. and went home. was raining super heavily. luckily got a ride from amanda's mum. reached home around 7 plus. then showered and ate some food. and went to sleep at 8. super tired. woke up at 12 plus. first guest came ard 12.50. haha. my nephew and his parents. he came in with the santa hat. super cute! played with him foe a while. then went to bathe. and lunch. super yummy! lol. and went to bed with my cousins and sister. 3 people squeezing on 1 bed lol. my sis got the biggest space. but wasnt that squeezee la. lol. then dinner and just trying to past time by watching tv and crapping. oh and taking pictures. love my cousins! =)

thank you for all the presents and cards! it's appreciated!

love this christmas. and you're the reason why. =)

2:18 PM

today is 24th december. it's christmas eve! and soon it'll be christmas! lol. cant wait for tonight. it's a special day for everyone tomorrow especially me and someone else. =) take care all.

wishing all a early
MERRY CHRISTMAS! =)

6:22 PM

back from bangkok. was on shopping spree! LOL. had motion sickness on the plane. vomited once on the way there. and 5 times on the way back. pathetic eh. met annabelle and cristalbelle in the plane. oh and my ex-science teacher. lol okay. the hotel was not bad. the beds were COMFY! lol. the weather was PERFECT. cool, windy, a little cold in the morning. had breakfast at the hotel. not too bad la the food. but it's like the same everyday? lucky only had it for 3 days. haha. okay then first day shopped at jaktujak. bought LOTS of things. let's name some. slippers. sunglasses. some decorating stuff. bags and so on. there were puppies. super small and super cute! lol. left for lunch. and guess what we din even walk HALF of that place. three days. we walked and walked and walked. lunch and dinners were filling and YUMMY! lol. that's how i spent my days in bangkok. shopping everyday. oh on the last day i did thai massage. super cool! LOL.
let's name the things i bought:
a pair of white shoes
some tops
slippers
handbag
earings
necklace
some hair cream
lip bam
sunglasses
and many many other things.


i wanna be crappy! so that people wont say i'm too quiet. HAHA

12:42 AM

lol. i think i'm getting more and more naggy. look at my previous posts. super long. lol. okay i'm gonna do a summary for the jb trip.
more friends.
spritual experiences.
late nights.
emotional.
fun.
dark and scary.
cold mornings.
ant bites.
more sharing sessions.
games.
warm fuzzies!
SICK on the last day. that's about it. guess i did enjoy it. =)

there's one part which i guess i'll never forget. the feeling was really good. =)

12:19 AM

jb trip was really good! =) made many more friends and gain many more spritual experiences. first day had ice breaker then back to our bunks to decorate our envelops then dinner. after dinner, first session the passion. i really cried my heart out. and i made a big big commitment. then back to our bunks. wrote our warm fuzzies. slept ard 3 am. haha most slept in 1 room. except peggie. lol. woke up at 7am the following day and went to the meeting place and had breakfast and session again. and lunch. then games first was trust fall. second was circle of trust. and third was human pyramid. then back to chalets to do warm fuzzies. haha we ate loads of titbits. soon was dinner. after that was some session planned by our own people. lol a sharing session. then was games and praise and worship and then the pray over. i got slain. the feeling was really good. super peaceful. yea and went back to our chalets. and did some more warm fuzzies. slept ard 12 to 1. and when we woke up the next day alot of us got SORE THROAT! ouch! haha. drank loads of water. the headed to the main chalet with our bags and then to the room to put our stuffs and breakfast. at that time my throat really hurt and had no mood for breakfast. but still ate la. after breakfast was washing of feets. and i washed marcus feets. lol. then went for break. and then mass. and after mass was lunch. and then took pictures and headed back to singapore. slept during the journey. was sick and tired. lol. i'm feeling much better now. thank you all for your concern! it's appreciated! =)

11:52 AM

ncc annual camp. 5 - 7 dec
first day- went to collect first aid kit and stretcher then part a's and part b's did their admin things. they were seperated to 4 platoons. hurricane 1&2 and cyclone 1&2. did icebreakers. then they did pt and after that they carried their things to their restpective rooms. haha. then they had drills and lessons and i dont know what else. haha. until lunch. for lunch we had chicken drumstick, cabbage and some other thing and rice. haha. was not good la. then they did some other things. lol i was slacking cos i was the medic. and then 6pm they went to bathe. then was dinner. dinner was MUCH better there was fish, 2 seeweed chicken, vege and rice. then night games. haha. the game was not bad la. then after that wash up and LIGHTS OUT. we part c's had debrief. haha. was looonng. finally went to bed at 1.30 plus and was COLD COLD COLD! i was shivering. lol lucky i had my towel. haha. the next morning i din knw medic had to wake up early. nvm i rushed la. then just walk around and then 2 ppl sprained their ankles from morning pt. one was swollen so i had to like look after him and walk around. haha. then they had breakfast. they ate bread with kaya and nutella. was very very little. then part a's and b's had drills again. then their profiency test for part b's. then i was slacking and looking at the part a's train. lol bernerd, seetoh and joel super cute. lol esp bernerd la. haha. then time passed and some people were called out for the failure platoon? lol. they had a hard time la. then sir trained them till they super tired. see their sweat and tears. my heart was like super sad. i wanted to cry but i had to hold back.we had a talk with those people in the failure platoon. and then finally campfire and bbq! lol. i only ate the rice and beehoon. cos din feel like eating the bbq food. haha. then the 4 platoons did their items for the campfire. and then games. but i wasnt around cos i had to prepare for the confidence walk. before it started. things were screwed up. but luckily we had help from the part c's and miss nadleen! THANKS! we used a mop with a ground sheet. lol. they look super scary together. wa lau. then with the lights on we alr super scared then with lights off was worse. i was outside. haha the first few that went in was very scary. was more real. haha. then they screamed. haha. oh and i'm super proud of my girls. LENA and FARHAN. they went in alone. haha. then shaun and joseph. went in together. haha. they were scared la. then the next one was worse cos they had to go in alone. one stood at the door cos he was too scared and he shouted HELP! for a long long time. so we had no choice but to open the door. haha. then kah ming. he cried. lol. then i helped him out and wash his face. hah. those who saw all super scared la. ahahha. so cute! then time passed super slowly. cos those ppl that went in took super long to come out. haha. then last few was like. no fun alr cos all the "ghost" were tired. haha. so they just anyhow did it. haha. actually for the walk they only needed to go up the stairs. walk into the boys toilet. then come out and walk into the girls toilet to write their name. then walk out. but there were people scaring them. haha. and that's it for the day. part c's slept ard 3 plus. haha. last day. woke up at 6 plus. they did pt. and then breakfast. they had cornflakes . we part c's had milk. haha. and some had beehoon. leftovers from the bbq. then area cleaning. pack their stuffs put in girls bunk. and then fall in. failure platoon fall out again. for interview and then the rest just slack around. haha. well during interview some cried and some were angry. lol. then after everyone finsh their interview they joined the rest. and then we had master parade. and was over. all went home. part c's had debrief again. lol. then went home. wen to bathe wanted to use com but fell asleep on the table. so went to bed at 5 plus. slept til this morning. lol. like pig like that. haha. tmr going for jb trip. so i guess i wont be updating. haha.

I LOVE MY NCC FAMILY!
they just rock la. =)


i love you too! =)
lol.

12:18 PM

december 1st.
my cousin's wedding. haha. woke up super early. suppose to wake up at 5am but i overslpet and woke up at 6am. haha. then left the house late. reached there late but luckily we weren't later than the groom. haha. after a while there was the horning part which means that the groom has reached then the bride's bro have to open the door. haha. and then when the groom reach the house he has to answer questions and sing a love song but he din la. cos he din knw what to sing so he only shouted: WO ZHI AI NI YI GE REN! lol. so sweet. then he passed the test and finally he saw the pretty bride. lol he was so nervous that he heard one of the question wrongly. haha. then went over to the groom's house for the tea ceremony. and went back to the bride's house after a long while. then tea ceremony also. and then just slack around. until we left.

december 2nd.
the wedding dinner. prepared super early. lol did my sister's hair. and then she did mine. lol took really long to do each other's hair. wanted to paint my nails but i cant paint properly so took it out. it was UGLY! lol put make up then left the house. reached the hotel and signed guest book then 8.30 the bride and groom went in. and food was served. haha. the food was OKAY la. some were nice some were okay some were hmmmmm. lol. and took pictures. and my feets hurt! haha. and finally went home. oh and that place had lots of prostitutes. super DISGUSTING. and when we left heading home at the car park got this prostitute she came out of a car. then got 2 indian guys. she talked to one and suddenly kissed him then dont knw what they doing la. WTH. super GROSS can. must be talking about where is a nice place to do it. EEW. PROSTITUES ARE DISGUSTING! haha. and i must say that my cousin's BEAUTIFUL! =)

12:54 PM